I have been a victim of domestic abuse since the age of 15 years old when a man 24 years older took advantage of me after being my boss.
I wasn’t aware he had a past history of domestic abuse with his ex wife. He went on and groomed me and made me believe that he would look after me and protect me.
He didn’t protect me, he controlled me. He started controlling me through authorities like the Police. He decided that when I started to see other males he would get a restraining order against me to suit him when he would want to have sex or even talk to me. After putting these restraining orders in place he constantly messaged and harassed me, however if I said something he didn’t like or didn’t do as I said he would ring the police on me for harassment and breaking the restraining order.
I then found out I was pregnant, I was accused that it wasn’t his baby so for 9 months he put me through hell and back. He wasn’t at the birth. Due to the domestic abuse the police then referred it onto MASH as he was causing me emotional abuse. He is 24 years older than me and knew exactly what he was doing. Everyone listened to him because he was older.
I was placed in a mother and baby until back in 2014 for 3 months as he lied to authorities, made me out to be this young mum that didn’t even know what she was doing just to try and control me even more. I come out of that place with no concerns me and child went home.
He didn’t like this so he continued to go on and see how he could make me breakdown and cause me more abuse.
I felt ignored and unsupported by Warwickshire police. They didn’t offer me any support they just allowed this man to use the restraining orders to his advantage. The abuse was getting worse and worse. He left me with a criminal record at such a young age (17) before I even went on to build my life.
As the years went on after I had children he then used the children as a weapon against me to hurt me and control me. I was taken to court maliciously every single year since having children. Then in 2020 the father took my 2 children away from me and did not return them. I had a family court order that cost me over £8000 in proceedings and was meant to be there to protect me from further harm however when I come to use it in 2020 I was told by Warwickshire Police it’s not worth the paper it’s written on even though it states the children were to live with me and have certain contact with the father. The police fully assisted the father in breaching this order, they put me at risk, the emotional abuse that it has been causing me was so severe that it’s made me feel suicidal due to the fact of feeling ignored and bullied by a police force who was meant to protect victims of crime. Warwickshire police have very little training with their own officers when children are separated from parents and there is domestic abuse involved. In my complaint Warwickshire police stated “ since your complaint there is wider learning to be done across the force” I have seen no improvements in the year this has been going on.
A police officer [redaction made for legal reasons] from professional standards department who is currently under investigation for taking advantage of me after he dealt with an incident with my and my ex partner back in 2014 knew how controlling my ex partner was. I’m 2020 he seen me in a pub and tried to get me to form a relationship and have sex with him. He knew that it would get back to my ex partner and it would cause child contact issues as the father didn’t want me to be in a relationship with anyone but him. This is the reason why my ex took my children because I was in a relationship with someone new even though I had been separated from him since 2016.
My ex partner went on to report me to social services as being an “unfit mum” trying every channel to cause me distress to make this relationship breakdown. The abuse has been ongoing for many years now and I have been silenced by Warwickshire Police and ignored. Any crime or incident I reported has never been dealt with. I will never understand why this is. A senior officer [redaction made for legal reasons] from Warwickshire Police [redacted for legal reasons] wrote a report in 2020 clearly stating that my complaint of biased and unconscious biased from Warwickshire Police but this was later suppressed by PSD as the officer I was in a relationship with who is under investigation worked in that department and his work colleagues did everything to make me suffer because one of their own officers is under investigation. The police officer complained of [redaction made for legal reasons] told that department that the senior officer [redaction made for legal reasons] “ took a shine to me in the cells” that’s the only reason he wrote that report. I had never ever even met this officer before.
Every complaint or crime I’ve made has not been investigated and I have been completely silenced and still being made to suffer. I’ve had no support from Warwickshire Police. All they have done is bully me as a young vulnerable woman.
The children’s father has been reporting me for harassment again because he knows how badly the police deal with me and they always assist him. He took my children and I haven’t seen them in a whole year due to his ongoing controlling behaviour. An officer who is dealing with this [redaction made for legal reasons] went on to abuse me, follow me in the police car and then interview he stated “ I suspected you was going to this address” he’s gone above and beyond to try and get me criminalised, not understanding the background of domestic abuse that I have been put through. I’ve been beyond desperation to just try and see my 2 young beautiful little boys.
Constabulary: Warwickshire Police
Timespan: Since 2013 – 2021 ongoing
Did you report it to the police?: Yes
Your ethnicity: White British
Have you experienced suicidality due to this? Thoughts/feelings