Sarah | Domestic Violence living with a CID Detective

I lived with a CID detective for 5 years.

Throughout the duration of the relationship he subjected me to emotional, financial, and physical abuse, along with coercive control. He was an alcoholic, would drink bottles of vodka on his days off like it was water.

The neighbours called the police more times than I can remember. The police would attend, he’d show his warrant badge, and the banter would start. Not once did an officer ask to see me or speak to me, I was always told to go to another room before he opened the door. I remember sitting on the stairs, my face swollen, listening to one of the officers as he said he knew ‘how women can get’ and they all laughed.

Eventually, he was transferred to another force for a promotion and we relocated. One afternoon, after a particularly bad argument when he was drunk, he choked me on the doorstep and a neighbour witnessed. This time, in a new area, the attending officers took it seriously. I was put straight into a DV refuge leaving behind my home, my job, my possessions, everything.

The next 2 years were spent being moved around DVs as he always managed to locate me. I wasn’t allowed to even speak to my family in case they were leaking my whereabouts. For 18 months I didn’t speak to family or friends. I found out later that he was asking colleague buddies to keep tabs on me via my car registration.

Despite obtaining a non-mol, and filing a complaint, he kept his job. He was eventually let go due to his alcoholism.

I still struggle with PTSD. Any interaction with the police sends me into horrendous panic. I cannot trust them. All I can hear is their laughter ringing in my ears as I sat on those stairs, bloodied and broken.

Constabulary: Metropolitan Police Service

Timespan: 2013

Did you report it to the police?: Prefer not to say

Your ethnicity: White Minority Ethnic

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: Thoughts/feelings

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: No

illustration by Danny Noble

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