Rose | No where to turn

I was abused by a current serving police officer over many years. I was raped, pinned down, sexually assaulted. The thing I can remember most about that time, is the sound of my baby crying in the next room, and me being unable to get to her. I reported him. Multiple times. The force demanded that I prove I was not under the influence of drink or drugs before they would take a statement. They demanded to speak to my doctor to check I had the ‘mental capacity’ to be making these ‘accusations.’ Once they eventually took my statement it then went missing along with all of the evidence against him. I went to a bridge with the intent to jump. The police were called. I explained why I was suicidal and I begged them not to take me back to him. Instead of taking me to a place of safety, once they realised who he was they took me back to him. He shook their hands and said ‘I’ll sort her out from here.’ There was no onward referral for support, no record of me telling them I was being repeatedly raped….and I’d embarrassed him in front of his colleagues so then the abuse only got worse. At one point I was on a ventilator in intensive care.

Even after I left him he would turn up at the house demanding sex. A police officer knows how to restrain someone without leaving a mark and I learned quickly that the quicker I went along with it, the less painful it would be. When he discovered I’d changed the locks, he attempted to break in. He was smashing the door down, and I rang 999. They said they were coming, and then a minute later they called me back. There was a note on the system…it was a ‘civil matter’….no one was coming to help me. I picked up my baby and I ran to a family members house. Even then he pursued me.. months and months of him stalking me, threatening me…I reported it every time, and every time it was NFA’d. Eventually after my MP got involved he moved away, got a new girlfriend, found a new target. He still haunts me, even though he is not allowed to see his child… not allowed to see his own child but can see other vulnerable people and victims through his job!

I still get pestered by him. In Oct 2021 he was angry about my participation in the super complaint. He came at night, coaxed me out of my house by setting off my car alarm, and raped me again. He shoved a toy Lego cat so far up my genitals that I had to have emergency gynae surgery. He thought it was funny because it was a ‘pussycat.’ I asked the police to log it….I wasnt sure whether I trusted them to deal with it properly…I soon got a call from [redaction made for legal reasons] the sexual and serious crimes unit….”it’s you again,” he said ” I take it you’re still accusing PC ***** of doing this to you”….I said nothing….he sighed….” I’m telling you now,” he continued “this is a good copper you’re making accusations against. Nothing will be done against him whilst I’m [redaction made for legal reasons]. If you want to take it further you’ll have to wait till I retire in a few years.” I put the phone down. They still don’t want to listen. They still don’t believe women. I am still unsafe. But I will never ever turn to the police for help again.


Constabulary: Northumbria Police

Timespan: From 2015 to date

Did you report it to the police?: Yes

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: Prefer not to say

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: Yes

illustration by Danny Noble

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