Lisa | Controlling stalky ex-officer

An ex police officer and now an ex teacher.
He uses so many variations of his name to cover his tracks.
He’s the most unsettling person I’ve come across.

We were never in a relationship. Colleagues whose paths crossed. He became intense, troubling so. Colleagues raised concerns regarding his possessiveness. I couldn’t breathe, he was always there.

Horrible abusive messages started. He left me alone, changed jobs.
Then I bumped into him in the supermarket. He bounded over like nothing had happened. How he hadn’t messaged wishing I was dead, or that I needed gang raping to shut my big mouth. This was following a meltdown as I’d returned from holiday and not bought him a present.

I block. He goes away.
Then He comes back. That awful feeling of being tracked down, watched. Just as I feel he’s gone for good . 4 years now. Until last month, I did think he’d gone. He moved away, about 9 months ago. I didn’t see him.
My neighbours reported him dog walking up and down my street, the week before he left, he asked one of them where I was, he hadn’t seen me for a while, wanted to say goodbye.

I hadn’t seen him in months .

He lost his teaching career. Concerns were raised in his first school regarding inappropriate behaviour towards sixth formers. He’s very good at defending himself and managed to wrangle another role, here our paths crossed. Concerns and red flags followed, derogatory homophobic comments to students, shoulder-barging boys, bullying alarming, predatory behaviour to female staff.

His contract was terminated and he hasn’t taught since 2019.

He was one of the bad apples rooted out of the police service.

I was lucky as a friend’s husband worked with him in his former life as a police officer.
He keeps himself and his various worlds, separate. No danger of people comparing notes, or alerting women to how dark and devious he is. He can slip on whichever mask he’s using and lie to gain peoples trust.

He had form for unsettling behaviour towards female colleagues. It has happened before. Of course it had.

More troubling,

After he argued it was ‘OK’ for 12 year-olds to have sex. (He was in a child protection role at the time.) Not one of his former colleagues would work with him. And yet, he still got a reference for teaching.

After losing his teaching post. He thought it a good plan to walk around with a knife, culminating in him threatening a young Asian guy with a weapon who lives close by.

He was acquitted of course. Told a pack of lies on the stand. And as the local police didn’t follow up with the heads of his former schools. He got away with it, presented himself as exemplary. Nor were witness statements followed up. He lied and lied on the stand. [redaction made for legal reasons]

That stuck in the throats of colleagues.

[paragraph redaction made for legal reasons]

He mocks real victims. From real cases.

It’s sick.

He’s a clever man, very good at reinventing himself and getting away with it. It came out that he’d changed his first name about 10 years ago.

His marriage finally broke up and he’s drifting around southern Europe now. Another new name [redaction made for legal reasons]. 

What is creepy is he forgets. All the weird stuff in the past. Or that I’ve blocked him, he’s frightened and scared me.

Its always a normal email. Its when he’s kidding himself he’s normal and has friends. (He has no friends). I’m beginning to feel I’ll never be rid of him. He will always pop up.
We never had a relationship.

And all these new young acquaintances won’t have a clue who he really is as he’s a new person. There are no clues, no ties, no one to heed caution. He can pretend he’s anyone

Until he starts his games.
His ex police colleague said if someone put all the things he’d done, the stalking, harassment, assault charges, sleeping with victims together it would be a very scary picture.

He’s a proper psychopath. And one who has flown under the radar.

Constabulary: Metropolitan Police Service

Timespan: 4 years

Did you report it to the police?: Yes

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: No

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: No

Illustration by Danny Noble

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