Helen | Officer forced me to let my abuser back into MY home, personally gave him my new key

Things went badly wrong with my ex who became increasingly nasty and controlling. I had let him stay with me during the pandemic but asked him to leave. He left in a rage sending me nasty messages. Then he took to waiting outside the front door. The first time my lodger let him in and he was there for eight hours, while I and my lodger who he had threatened hid at a friend’s house. He finally left about 2 minutes before the police arrived, several hours after I called them. They were nice, took a domestic abuse history and said call 999 if he shows up again. A few days later he was outside again. I escaped when he went to get food, and called 999 from my friend’s house. The officers who showed up saw the abusive texts he sent me and heard the story, but decided after a brief chat with him that he was a tenant in MY house (he wasn’t) and forced me to let him back in 8 days after he had gone. I told them I would have to flee from my own house, that he had a criminal record for damage to previous ex’s property and that I knew he would cause a lot of damage. They said “that’s your choice”. We had changed the lock to protect ourselves and the officers drove to my friend’s house, ignored him, my adult son who is a lawyer, and my lodger all telling them it was a mistake, forced me to give them my new key, drove back to my house and gave it to them. He finally left after a week leaving me with a £2000 bill for damages and theft. I complained and IOPC said the officer had done nothing wrong and had an excellent knowledge of civil law….The Mayor’s office also upheld the complaint. I feel totally gaslighted by the whole institution and have lost all faith in the police. I can’t believe this misogynistic officer (the other one was junior) is still free to back up abusers. I now have a non molestation order against him, but I am worried that the next woman may not have a place of safety to go to so I want to do what I can to make this right. I asked a couple of police complaints solicitors but they asked for large amounts of money up front.

Constabulary: Metropolitan Police Service

Timespan: September 2022

Did you report it to the police?: Yes

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: No

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: Yes

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