Fitzy76 | Propositioned whilst reporting domestic violence.

Roundabout 1993, at 17 years old I was living with my first serious boyfriend. We didn’t have the best relationship and at times he would turn very violent. One day, we had a huge row and my boyfriend picked up a very large, very heavy glass ashtray (the sort they used to have in pubs) and hit me over the head with it. As soon as he saw he’d injured me by doing this as blood was literally running down the side of my face, he ran out of the flat. I immediately called the police to report him as I’d had enough, this felt like a last straw. I waited about half an hour and two policemen turned up. They came into the flat, I showed them the evidence and one of them said he was going to have a quick look around outside the immediate area of the flat to see if there was any sign of my boyfriend.

The policeman that remained behind started taking down the details of what happened. He asked me to put in my own words what happened. I started to tell him. I got to the bit with the ashtray, the policeman was sitting uncomfortably close and had seemly edged his seat closer to mine as I began talking. “….that’s when he picked up that big ashtray and hit me over the head….” I said. He said “Is that because you give good head?” I was stunned. “Pardon?” I said. “You said he hit you over the head…I asked if that’s because you give good head”. He said it so matter of factly that I thought I was going mad. He continued “Because to me, you look like you could suck a golf ball through a hose so what I want to know is if there’s any chance you’ll give me head?”. Then, the other policeman came back and he acted all professionally again and said they’d got all they need and to let them know if I wanted to press charges.

When they left I cried and cried. I’ve never trusted the police since, especially not male officers. This happened when I was 17, I’m 47 now so 30 years ago but I can still hear his voice and remember every word he said. I’ve never told anyone that before as I just thought “who would believe me?”.

Constabulary: Hampshire Constabulary

Timespan: 1993.

Did you report it to the police?: No

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: No

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: Prefer not to say

illustration by Danny Noble

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