Ex police staff | Raped by police officer stoned on stolen weed

I was staying at a police officer’s home who I’d known for years and who I thought was a friend. We stayed up late watching music videos then I was so tired I went to bed on an airbed on the floor in his room. He stayed up smoking weed which he’d said he’d taken from a drug search of someone’s home (I didn’t approve of this at the time). I woke up as he was putting his penis in my mouth. I’d been fully asleep and so waking up to this was not only scary and confusing but I completely froze and didn’t know what to do. I just let it happen then he lay down on his bed and went to sleep leaving me to clean myself up and briefly consider reporting it. I treated it like a bad dream in the end and never did anything. I did tell another male officer friend and he told me it turned him on. This didn’t help. I knew it was incredibly unlikely to to come to anything. I never told him. We’re no longer in touch. I heard later from his colleague that another woman had accused him of rape and it made me angry with myself. I told my boyfriend at the time who was also a police officer. He said it was my fault if he sexually assaulted anyone else because I hadn’t reported it. He had absolutely no concept of the minuscule number of reported rapes that actually go anywhere. He also made me feel even worse.

Constabulary: Metropolitan Police Service

Timespan: 2017

Did you report it to the police?: No

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: Thoughts/feelings

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: No

illustration by Danny Noble

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