Caroline | Falsely Accused by a Manipulator’s Lies

I am currently experiencing the most surreal, distressing, and bullying scenario at the hands of Hampshire Constabulary, which can only be described as either a bad joke or a bad dream. Two members of Police Staff have made false accusations of irrationality, by the manipulation of my abusive ex partner’s lies, and by zero evidence. I have been warned to not speak out about the horrific things she used to do to me, as it would be ‘distressing’ for the abuser if she were to identify herself by her own inflicted abuse!!! I was even asked by the member of Police Staff who called me: “Why do you feel the need to talk about it?” One of her flabbergasting statements: “But you weren’t together for very long!” So under a year’s worth of abuse is acceptable? I was given a telling off for reporting the child abuse I witnessed to child protection services, as it was ‘harassing’ the abuser. No, I was safeguarding the child who was fearful and in danger – something law enforcement should encourage us to do, and which should be the responsibility of every adult.
I was accused by absence of evidence for ludicrous things which would have been impossible. I run a website raising awareness of abuse, which takes my life up until 2018…yet I was accused of mentioning my former partner on the site, which would have been impossible, given that I hadn’t met that person until 2020. I’m surprised they didn’t want to search my house for a crystal ball. I was also accused of mentioning my ex partner on the radio show I host, which was completely untrue. Whenever I have kindly asked for evidence and communicative response of logic, they just run away. The comment of the PSDI?…”You ticked the boxes!” The Police cannot go around falsely accusing people on the grounds that they ‘ticked the boxes’ for goodness sake. A member of Police Staff and [redacted for legal reasons] have informed me that coercive control, psychological abuse of threat making, shouting in someone’s face, etc., does NOT qualify as abuse, but is rather ‘limited examples’ from a ‘fixated’ person…so it’s quantity of abuse rather than quality of abuse they go by! The [redacted for legal reasons] has lied on the report concerning the despicable phone call I received, claiming a conversation took place that just didn’t happen at all, as can be heard in the recording of that call…and as mentioned, upon my asking for a communicative response of reason and logic…they run away like cowardly bullies, avoiding responsibility. This is not only completely unprofessional and immature, but is also dangerous from a body supposed to serve and protect. I hope to God that these two never deal with a case of rape, to ruin the victim’s life. You cannot tell a survivor of domestic abuse that what happened to them didn’t matter, and that in running a website raising awareness of abuse, the person is just ‘fixated.’ By this, they are basically stating that organisations such as Victim Support and Refuge should cease to exist, and that no autobiography should have ever been written by a survivor. Domestic abuse survivors are not ‘fixated’ people – they are trauma victims. To claim this, is both rude and overlooking the seriousness of domestic abuse. It is terribly worrying how the Police can dismiss the disturbing contents of my abuse raising website, but simply view it as ‘someone just being mean!’ By the Police, I assume that Dr Barnardo was ‘fixated’ with orphans…and thank God that he was.
It is terribly concerning how these Officers are clearly not trained in comprehending what domestic abuse actually is, entails, or of the trauma impact it has on the victim…but rather in speaking out about it, the victim is simply being cruel about their abuser. Any person with even the slightest understanding of the repercussions of domestic abuse knows full well that it can be a fair while after the relationship has ended that the abuse is recognised in it’s fullness, due to the programming the manipulator installs. Sometimes the victim does acknowledge the behaviour to be abusive while in the relationship, but is too fearful to take any positive action. It is immature bullying for the Police to run away after they have battered an abuse survivor. Not once did any of these three members of Police Staff express that they were sorry to hear of what had happened to me. This is truly disgusting.
My abusive ex could murder me, and Hampshire Police would come and arrest my corpse! My fury has now overcome my fear.
The [redacted for legal reasons] is the corrupt Officer’s protective big sister, the PSD is their protective older brother, and the IOPC is the PSD’s protective father. We are in a no win situation, where our only justice is to expose them.

Constabulary: Hampshire Constabulary

Timespan: 2022

Did you report it to the police?: Yes

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: Prefer not to say

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: No

illustration by Danny Noble

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