Brooke | Controlling [Senior Rank redacted]

My story was recently covered by the press so I am not afraid to speak in detail.

I met him on OKcupid and he hailed himself as a hero and a protector but he was anything but.

He was a sex pest and I soon fell pregnant. (His refusal to wear and use contraception). Sex was always rough by default and I never felt any intimacy from someone who had claimed I was the love of his life. As soon as I found out I was pregnant the controlling behaviour spiralled out of control. He wanted me to keep our baby and only have contact with him and his side of the family, the baby was not going to be allowed near my family. I could not live with my family anymore. I could not be on my phone without being questioned every day. 

He had previously admitted being in anger management which clearly had not been effective.

I wasn’t allowed an opinion, he always spoke over or would frequently shout over me as if what he had to say was more important.

Anyone who crossed him or dared to disagree with him was bullied, with one particular female colleague (whom I tried to help get justice) labelled a ‘fat cunt’, amongst other things, he then went on to send me her personal information, email address, phone number, photos and videos of her over WhatsApp to me and other colleagues, this was standard behaviour from him.

The so called legally qualified chair decided that he required reflective practice only. I was never given an apology. He is working on domestic violence cases to this day from what I’ve heard. How can that be right?

I’m just so thankful I was able to access an abortion. If it wasn’t for that my life would be controlled by him in every aspect. It has left me traumatised and too scared to start a family with my current partner though we would like a baby soon. I am putting everything I have into therapy and my recovery and I have gained so much respect for myself through-out this process.

It’s a broken system set up to protect abusers.

Constabulary: Metropolitan Police Service

Timespan: Over the last 2 years

Did you report it to the police?: Yes

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: Thoughts/feelings

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: Yes

illustration by Danny Noble

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