Met my ex in the job he was charming, I was far wealthier & ex said only interested in me (found out later he had seen a divorce police federation solicitor before proposing marriage and the meeting was all about how to gain my property)
Fast forward, straight after married I suffered a medical condition and gave up work through disability then we had a child then the marriage broke down but he made me feel I should try harder so gave it another go, had another child then that was it, separate bedroom but ex would not agree to separate & life became harder. I suffer chronic illness with two children we are living in corners of the house (my house) treading on eggshells feelings waiting for ex to give me and the kids hours of lectures/telling off on how badly we treat him and the kids crying stop it dad can I go. Did the police care when the kids told them that? No.
Other times the kids told off for getting water to drink in the evening in case we get in the way of the tv or are too noisy. Ex put a bin bag over a hole in the loft so all night every night I had to try to sleep with a bag rattling. He left me paralysed in a medical emergency and I was saved by the kids finding me. The police his force have a diabolical record they still are being found out by the authorities every now and then a top officer gets sacked (latest one a long term pal of my ex). But what changed – nothing – the force didn’t follow HO guide lines they didn’t follow their own conduct guidelines and now my ex tells everyone he has been found innocent. Reality is the kids and myself are still suffering and there is absolutely no help even after the police admit they have evidence they won’t use it. The excuse “it’s hard to prove “ they quote yet HO guidelines are really clear the police need one incident evidenced to take a case forward I gave them lots of evidence of incidents and the kids did as well, yet still nothing and it’s a complete farce the right to review is done by the force with the 97% rate of not taking such crime cases to court. They don’t give cases to the cps either I expect that prevents the cps taking up the cases. The sad thing is the home office reports are well written, they state exactly what I and the kids suffered so it’s purely the police being deliberately nasty/useless causing so much damage and pain. Now ex drags out a divorce and a family member told me his plan was to string out the marriage to get past the pre nup, then to make the divorce as painful financially mentally as possible leave me with nothing so the kids have to ask him for anything they need. When I met my ex he had virtually nothing ….except charm.
When I reported my case the police asked why did I wait so long yet the Home Office guidelines recognise that when abused spouses wait there is a good reason it makes the allegations even more authentic yet during my 6 hours of police interview they were charming but after that no updates unless I chased them it was “oh well you know how it is we are so busy”. Then months later not enough evidence to go to the cps. I queried the FACT they hadn’t interviewed witnesses they had a signed statement that my child was forced to give my ex a false statement that he wants to use against me in a court of Uk law. And so much more has gone on. I’m lucky to be alive my ex put me and the kids in situations we could get hurt without him touching us for years. The abuse extends to my elderly parents who were also lectured by my ex that I wanted him to separate but “he wasn’t going anywhere “. My mum who is not wealthy even bought my ex holidays & expensive presents thinking she was helping but all it did was fuel the narcissistic abuse he got off on gaining presents and feeling empowered. My ex told me everyone loved him at court barristers admired his work ethics etc etc and now which divorce court are we in? The one my ex works at has done for years. There is absolutely no way to get justice from the abuse of the police, the worst thing – this has been going on for the children’s entire childhoods and they now are diagnosed with permanent mental health issues.
I won’t give up fighting for justice however many letters I need to write to Members of Parliament or organisations to get this terrible issue addressed for the number of children and parents destroyed by these heinous individuals is atrocious. The Uk police are a disgrace.
Constabulary: Hampshire Constabulary
Timespan: Happened for 10 years still ongoing even though separated
Did you report it to the police?: Yes
Do you want to revisit this with the police?: Yes
Your ethnicity: White British
Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: No
Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: Yes
