Ashamed | I never knew this was rape

I was going out with a man who was a police officer [senior rank – redacted for legal reasons] in the army. He worked in undercover policing on drugs cases and other serious crimes.

I woke up in the night and he was already inside me. I’d been asleep. I remember this because I said to him “there was no beginning”. I was confused but he just laughed.

I never told anyone. This is the first time I’ve talked about it. Who would believe me over him?

Constabulary: Royal Military Police

Timespan: 2003

Did you report it to the police?: No

Your ethnicity: White British

Have you experienced suicidality due to this? No

Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010? Yes

Illustration by Danny Noble

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