After reporting domestic abuse due to a significant physical assault where I was nearly killed by a partner at the time, I was faced with a male police officer who smirked at me and appeared despondent. Being confused as to whether he took my allegations seriously or not, I knew that I was alone.
The violence escalated when a female police officer arrived at my home. I was out but my partner who realised I had reported his ongoing abuse was furious and further abuse escalated, including sexual violence was inflicted on me. He threatened to rape me, so after already had fled but returned two months prior to managing to escape for the final time. Harrassment, threats, stalking and subsequent abuse, including to family and friends took place. A non molestion order was granted by a district judge. This was breached, however police refused to act. I had to flee the area because he had found out where I was but police failed to take this seriously.
When I returned to the area, I reported continued harrassment. Police refused to investigate due to staffing shortages so I provided police with evidence and he was formally cautioned with harrassment. No further action was taken with regard to all serious allegations, in fact, I was told to return after 6 months to report crimes. He denied all allegations against him. I knew police were never going to protect me and decided to travel overseas for my safety.On returning, as advised by police, I was faced with intimidation and refusal to investigate my allegations.
During the period of trying to escape my ex partner, I experienced police misconduct by way of coercion. Several Police Officers told me not to report my allegations formally. Some male officers were abusive, threatening, intimidating and controversial. The failure to investigate or provide public protection has caused a significant impact on my personal safety, protections, health, housing and my family life. I was further subjected to a serious, significant and life changing sexual assault (rape) overseas but didn’t report to police.
Shortly down the line, I entered another abusive relationship to my dismay because he appeared to be kind. In fact, he told me he had been a victim of domestic abuse perpetrated by a woman and unfortunately, I fell for this lie and believed him. This man, quite quickly abused me, controlled me, financially abused me, sexually assaulted me and repeatedly raped me. It was only when I woke up the last time he raped me, that I had realised my fears and suspicions were true. He had been raping me whilst I was asleep/unconscious. I feel that he may have also drugged me but he never let me call the Ambulance when I was feeling particularly unwell the morning after. I reported to police but this has been a complex investigation. Police fail to understand the shame and fear a victim feels and that this impacts an investigation. Women must feel safe when reporting and be offered a FEMALE officer or a specialist support worker /ISVA and be able to be physically away from a Perpetrator, safe and secure place to be supported. I am not sure whether he will ever be prosecuted for raping me, but I strongly believe that I was not his first victim, and certain that I won’t be the last victim. This man is extremely dangerous to women and the wider public ( and potentially children). He is a predator.
Unfortunately, after being a victim of childhood sexual abuse aged 14, a victim of a date rape, a victim of domestic abuse, a victim of multiple sexual assaults and rapes both in the UK and overseas, my experience of reporting to police has been so traumatic and stressful, I have lost absolute trust in not only UK Policing but the Criminal Justice System and wider structures in place that are supposed to support victims. There’s absolutely no justice for women who report rape or abuse. Society is stacked up against you. I regret reporting to police but will always support any prosecution in the name of protecting another unwitting victim that falls prey to these evil, sick and violent men. I hope for positive and proactive change where victims rights are priority.
Constabulary: West Midlands Police
Timespan: Since 2016
Did you report it to the police?: Yes
Your ethnicity: White British